INTIMACY TO SELF
About seven days ago I had an experience where someone included me in an abundance activation. The message I got the following morning, was one of great excitement, feeling loved up to the point of exuberance … and frankly I was not feeling that state of being. I had had a chiro appointment the day before and had slept deeply – and I had completely forgotten about the inclusion in the activation… plus I was deep into a complex writing project, when the texts began coming through.
In hindsight it would have been better to have the phone switched off, but I did not and so innocently entered into dialogue that went pear shaped very quickly.
When I responded that I did not feel excited, exuberant, the response came back with expectations, disappointment and finally judgement with comments that a gift given with love needs to be accepted with graciousness. Therefore they would send me love so I would feel better.
Okay … and that was the end of the relationship with a week of silence. However, when out of the blue, I began tracking narcissistic behaviours it revealed something I had not considered before. I was starting to see spiritual people displaying subtle narcissist behaviours mostly around business. Back in 2004 I attended a very large 7-day residential where I thought I was going to launch my Freedom to BE program however, as always there is another scenario playing out … without going into the story of what unfolded, I realised for the first time that there were those who used spiritual languaging and heart energy with a hidden agenda of .. appearing to be very heart centered … but it is a cover for what they really want which is money. Therefore once again I felt surprise when I began to see narcissistic behaviour emerging within the spiritual community.
As always I step back to review and right on target I woke feeling confused, conflicted and contemplative … I don’t usually begin tracking something if there is not a deeper reason and this is no different.
The behaviour I was seeing unfold this year, was that more and more were using Facebook only as a business tool. If it was not a discussion on how to attend their event, how to book a session, then they didn’t communicate further. It was a total lazar beam focus on their business and building a wholistic relationship was not really on the cards. Whereas I believe we can do both. Life is about balance, a deep connection to our own heart and to create an amazing business that is a true reflection of who we are as a person, our values, our desires, our mission and our legacy. Therefore if we contain ourselves to only one aspect, then there is a miss alignment in that balance and one of the major reasons for burnout.
The other aspect that was emerging was the blurring of lines of friendship. Using all the hallmarks of friendship but it is not to become a personal friend – it is only to build a repour with the other person in order to further their business. Yes I know this has gone on for decades but this was something else emerging. It was the crossing of boundaries, of agendas and it was based on self interest rather than collaboration and deep trust and friendships that were both personal and professional. If women are to rise then they need to take out the competition, the agendas of; if I build a relationship with this person then they will do business with me, perspective.
Yes we need to build relationships of trust and respect, but does it always have to be about leveraging those relationships for self interests? I certainly hope not because that is a form of narcissist behaviours. Really, yes really.
As I said I felt contemplative this morning so I consulted my Freedom to BE program and up came … Transform feeling Rejection into Acceptance of Self – LOVING SELF. Upon consulting one of my books in this case – ‘When Love Walks out the Door’ and this was the paragraph that came up [Chapter Loneliness] ….’It was an intense feeling in my heart that needed to be touched. It was intimacy of that warm feeling that only love brings to the center of the heart and no one could give that to me. I didn’t realise it at the time, but that love had to come from within me but I was in too much pain to understand that. So the ache just went on … so much so that the needy part of me wanted another relationship to ease those feelings but my wonderful wise friends reminded me I still had a ways to go in releasing the hurt of my marriage ending.
Back to the conversation that went pear shaped after being included in an birthday abundance activation – the trigger for me was this person was in a heightened state of love due to having her family all surround her with gifts, fabulous celebrations all to celebrate her birthday. I own it and I write about it because narcissist behaviour that is emerging in truckloads of late, has it origins in this.
We are not here on Earth, to only have intimate relationships with a partner, our family and in some cases friends … we are here to have Intimacy with Self and that requires some deep honestly and the courage to own our shit and transform it. Women cannot rise whilst ever they are building friendships under the guise of it bringing them more business. Women will rise when they are deeply authentic in Self. They absolutely get that money flows to them when they are a true vibrational match to the connection with another that is when it becomes collaboration. Burnout happens when we are incongruent in our desires and use subtle agendas to gain more money. Nuff said
High Vibrational Marketing Strategist
Cutting Edge TV: Producer & Host.
Founder of ‘Authentic Heart Speak’ Developing High Vibrational Speakers & Writers to BE the new breed of Inspired Leaders.
Jan-Marie, Author of several best selling books, is the Creator of the powerful ‘Freedom to BE’ program which releases emotional stress in (4) minutes and Rewires the Brain for Success. The fast-track process ‘Money LOVES Me’ that identifies, transforms money blocks into unlimited flow. Her programs transform whatever prevents you from living the best version of yourself. She lives on the beautiful Sunshine Coast of AU with her food smooching moggie. www.BrilliantLifeSuccess.com