Have you ever felt overwhelmed emotionally and didn’t have a clue what was really creating this feeling or how to transform it quickly.
When my marriage ended I was completely and utterly swamped with emotions. One letter in the mail telling me my marriage was over and it was not-negotiable, turned my world upside down. I was in shock, anger, grief all at the same time. Not only that, every person in my life walked out of my life at that point, I lost my business, my income, my home, friends and family all within a month. There was nothing left except my son and cat who hid in the laundry of our rented place, for 12 months. It was like I woke up on a distant galaxy alone and in shock. There were not enough counsellors or therapists who had enough appointments in the whole of the land to cope with what I was experiencing. I literally just wanted the earth to open up and swallow me, as I honestly thought I would never ever return from this level of devastation.
Except I did … was it easy not especially, because when this happened, emotions were a dirty secret that no one talked about. In fact my now ex brother-in-law said to me “I can’t talk to you I might catch it” OH My!
Number #1 Strategy for returning from emotional intensity
As there was only me in this story of mine – if I was to move through this devastation and deep loss – I had to find it myself. I began getting up in the middle of the night to write … I would write copious letters (never to be sent) pouring out how I felt.
- Write, and write some more. The more you can get onto paper the better you will feel. (remember this is to be burnt or deleted after you have finished) When you write you are letting go of the energy and emotion is energy-in-motion. So get it out
Number #2 Strategy when emotional intensity is high
- Close up the windows and doors and put on some strong powerful music and scream – let the anger out. It feels so good – then allow yourself to grieve some more. Then go have a shower, change your clothes and ring a good friend for a chat.
Tip # 1: People can only listen to the same story for so long.
Tip #2: When a person is in grief it pushes others buttons and they feel uncomfortable, so they stop ringing, inviting you out – it is NOT about you, it is all about them and their disowned grief.
Number #3 Strategy – Don’t make major life-changing decisions
- Now is not the time to make life-changing decisions you simply need to stay put and deal with how you are feeling. Attempting to make life-changing decisions is an avoidance tactic or trying to run away from the feelings. They will just follow you.
Number #4 Strategy – Find someone who is experienced in Emotional Transformation healing
- When the emotions are intense you need someone who can support you through this maze of intensity.
Number #5 Strategy – Know that this intensity is not forever.
- This experience has a purpose – and that is for you to release some very deep emotional states which is why it is so important to work with them and not avoid them via anti-anxiety medication, alcohol or other mind numbing drugs – you will survive this.
Number #6 Strategy – Workshop it
This may not be what you are up to – when you are this is a great way to dig deeper and unlock stuff that is currently challenging you.
- Make a list of all the issues – give them a score of 1 – 10
- Take the highest score and make that the menu heading
- Under that new heading write everything that is in your mind
- Again go down and this time you are looking for what I call NEC (Negative Emotional Charge) so the issue that has the greatest current stress will be No. 10
- Put that as the menu header and keep breaking it down
- What is happening is you are releasing emotional energy each time you break it down.
- When you feel you have exhausted everything (mind/energy dump) then you will have a core issue that is what is creating the greatest amount of stress.
- Lock in that statement and then turn your head to the RH shoulder BREATH IN as you turn your head to the LH Shoulder BREATHE OUT as you bring head back to centre position. Keep repeating the statement and do the head/turn technique.
- You might need to do this 5 – 6 times or even more.
- What you are looking for is the energy to run down, by that I mean when our emotions are intense then the more you release them the less you feel them.
- When you have completed your emotional energy dump then make the following statement and use the same head turn technique.
- I am willing to accept …. and take the original statement and turn it to a positive. For example: ‘No one loves me’ (negative statement) ‘I know I am loved, I just don’t feel it right now’ … or something along those lines.
Hope this helps.
If you feel you would like 24/7 emotional support you might like to check out the ‘Freedom to BE’ program which releases emotional stress in (4) minutes. It really does.
Alternatively if you would like to book a .15 minute session with me contact me and we can set up a time that suits. I will be posting more #tips on dealing with emotional stress in the coming weeks so subscribe so you don’t miss out
PSS: I wrote a great book during that time – ‘When Love Walks out the Door’ … Healing and rebuilding when a relationship ends. You might find it useful – people all over the world have read this book and loved it because it is raw, true and it relates to anyone going through a relationship ending or a life challenge. You will find it on my website.